Her Parents Kicked Her Out For Not Using Pronouns Correctly: Was She Wrong For Her Outburst?

A college student was kicked out of her family home for not using pronouns as per her sister’s request and shouting at her. Was she wrong for what she’d done?

The Background

woman questionsing

Seeking advice for her situation, the eighteen-year-old college student wrote in an online forum, describing her predicament.

For context, her older sister (aged 28) is a preschool teacher who still lives at home with their parents.

“We’ve never gotten along because she’s seen as the ‘golden child’ and gets away with so much,” the student added in her post.

The Sister’s Butt Heads

woman arms folded frowning

Having worked as a teacher for the past couple of years, the older sister enjoys sharing preschool anecdotes and talking about her young students.

According to Irene, the issue in question began because the young teacher often uses her classroom techniques at home. “She kind of treats me as if I’m one of ‘her (school) kids,’” Irene complained.

Problem With Pronouns

woman annoyed frowning

The biggest point of contention between the siblings? According to Irene, her older sister “has this (what I call it) problem with pronouns where I apparently won’t use them, and she’ll ‘correct’ me.”

For example, if the family sits at the dinner table, the younger sister would turn to her older brother and request, “Pass me the salt.” At this point, the older sister would intervene to admonish, “No, Irene, use your words.”

Be Careful With Pronouns

woman friendly fun pointing

The intention behind the correction is for Irene to use her brother’s name instead of the dropped pronoun. “In her head, it would be correct for me to say, ‘Tim, could you pass me the salt?’” the younger sister explained. These reprimands not only occur during mealtimes but also extend to everyday conversations.

“She’ll do this for EVERY time I use a pronoun, even when it’s confirmed that person identifies as a male/female/other, and when the context is already given (so that I don’t have to keep saying the name and can instead just use ‘him, her, they’),” the Irene wrote in their post.

You Cannot Say That!

sad young lady

When the siblings are having a conversation about a mutual friend, Irene cannot simply say, “Yeah, she’s so cute and nice.” Per the student’s version of events, the older sister will “literally stop the conversation (even one where she isn’t a part in) and make me say ‘Yeah, Sarah is so cute and nice.’”

She Tried to Make Amends

woman unsure upset catastrophizing

Throughout two years of this behavior, Irene has repeatedly attempted to address the issue with her older sister. Since this avenue of resolution did not work, the student also spoke with their parents about stopping her sister’s corrections.

However, the parents did not see a need to reprimand the older sibling: “Lo and behold, the golden child gets her way again, and they even think that it’s ‘funny’ when she does this.”

All Hell Broke Loose

woman shocked mouth opened

The situation reached a boiling point when before Irene left for school. After one pronoun correction too many, Irene finally volleyed back at her sister, “Holy ****, why are you a preschool teacher if you don’t even know how the **** pronouns work?! Stop with your superiority complex and being so condescending, for ****’s sake.”

They Kicked Her Out

young woman shocked

Guided by the older sister’s influence, the parents used the outburst to justify kicking the college student out of her childhood home.

She spent the summer at her older brother’s place before heading off to university, where she wanted to stay on campus for all of the upcoming holidays.

“I said so to my brothers to give my parents a heads up. I’m now legally an adult (18) and can now make that decision,” the student wrote.

Everyone Was Upset With Her Behavior

upset family couple

“However, my family values family (which I personally find funny), and everyone flipped out that I wouldn’t be there for Thanksgiving and Christmas,” she revealed. “They all called me the ****ole—even my brother, who took me in when they kicked me out.”

Was She Wrong?

girl arms folded

Having encountered family criticism on all sides, Irene sought counsel from strangers on the internet. Should she let bygones be bygones and spend the holidays with her family? Was she “overreacting” to her older sister’s constant corrections in the first place?

Social Media Reacted to the Story

social media likes

“Your sister is being a stuck-up ****ole. She definitely has some sort of superiority complex. I’m sorry about your family because they suck for overreacting and playing favorites,” reassured the comment section.

“They’re bonkers,” one agreed.

Another user suggested Irene send the following as a text message: “If you don’t want me in July or August, don’t expect me to help you pretend we’re a big happy family in November or December.”

She Gave in To Their Demands

woman frustrated annoyed

Unfortunately, those hoping that Irene severed contact with her toxic family will be sorely disappointed. The student acquiesced to their demands after her parents threatened to withdraw their financial support if she didn’t attend the family gathering.

“It’s funny since I literally had to do a virtual module on financial abuse, lol,” she concluded. “It’s whatever—I’ve dealt with it for 18 years; I’ll just tolerate the few times a year [that] I’ll have to deal with them.”

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*Irene is a fake name used for the purpose of telling the story.

This article College Student Kicked Out Of Family Home For Not Using Pronouns Correctly: Was She Wrong For Her Outburst? was produced by TPR Teaching. Source: Reddit.

Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.

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7 months ago

I am maybe petty AF, but If someone goes patronizing on me, I will dish it right back. “Do you need me to talk slower so you can follow along? I’m just worried because you seem to be forgetting what/who we are talking about. Have you been having memory problems? Yes, Sarah. We were talking about SARAH. You remember SAAARRRAAAHHH right? SARAH!” Is that gaslighting? Maybe that is gaslighting. Either way, she sounds like a dick, so learn to sword fight.