An 18-year-old individual received almost 120,000 reactions and over 4,700 comments on social media for her story about having to take care of her disabled sister and despising her for it.
Her Sister Required Constant Care
Josie’s* sister (12) is severely autistic and needs nearly constant attention; she is non-verbal and cannot care for herself. According to Josie, she is “extremely destructive” and “destroys anything she gets her hands on.”
Josie notes that the world “revolved around” her sister since she was born. She had to move out of her bedroom to the basement when she was 7 to accommodate her, and she destroyed all her childhood toys and in later years, her school-provided Mac. All the parents could do was ignore or blame Josie for the problem.
She Was in Her Sister’s Shadow
Josie was also expected to take care of their sister at the drop of a hat, with no regard for any plans that she might have.
Even when she managed to get some time to herself, she was “required to leave” when her parents needed her. Josie found herself in many unfair situations, such as the time when she was punished for turning off her phone at the movie theatre.
It Was All About Her Sister
Recently, when Josie had been selected to give a speech at a school event, her parents didn’t show up, claiming it was because of her sister.
To make matters worse, the father joked that she should get a degree that pays well so she could care for her sister when they’re gone.
This incident was the final straw that caused Josie to break down in tears and scream about how everything revolves around her sister and how she felt more like a slave than anything else.
Josie took to social media to ask the question: Am I the a***ole? (AITA)
Reactions From Social Media
Josie’s case has sparked debate on the best thing to do in the situation and whether or not she was wrong.
Many commenters empathized with Josie’s situation and shared their support in the comments.
“You have done nothing to sign up for taking care of another human being (it’s not like she’s your kid), and that was wrong of your dad to ‘joke’ about because it sounds like he probably is really thinking along those lines,” one person who received more than 17,800 upvotes said.
“Be honest with your parents about how you feel,” the same person added. “Make clear that it’s insane that you’re expected to be a full-time babysitter.”
“Kid, I hope you go to college far away from home,” one person responded, receiving more than 9,900 upvotes in agreement. “Later in life, make sure your parents understand that you won’t be taking responsibility, so they better have care and funding in place.”
“If you can, go to college far away. Time away and on your own to be just you will be good for you,” another person added. “I’m really sorry your parents didn’t handle this better, and I hope that one day your anger moves away from your sister.”
Don’t Blame Your Sister
“That is not your sister’s fault,” declared one commenter. “She can’t help who she is, and at only 12, she is still learning and growing, and you may still have a great relationship once you are both adults. Your parents, on the other hand, should have done better by you. The brunt of your anger belongs on them.”
The consensus was that Josie was “not the a***ole.” (NTA).
Josie Made an Update
Josie temporarily moved to her grandpa’s home for a breather, as agreed by her parents.
Josie admitted the problem to her grandpa during her stay, and he was shocked. He consoled Josie, telling her she was not responsible for her sister, and with her condition, the parents should have had a professional carer for her, as she was a danger to herself and others.
The extended family who dropped in to support Josie even admitted to giving money to her parents to fund a “caretaker” they thought had existed.
During a sit-down discussion, Josie, her grandpa, and her parents had a difficult time communicating and resolving the issue. “My parents still claim that I somehow owed my sister my time,” Josie wrote, quoting her father: “‘You were put here to be her caretaker.'”
It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better
The parents refused to apologize but asked Josie to come home. Josie refused and received full support from her extended family members. Her grandfather allowed her to live in his home, and her aunt offered to contribute to her college education instead of giving money to Josie’s father for her sister’s expenses, as she had been doing in the past.
On moving out, Josie’s mother broke down in tears and told her that she would miss her, but Josie was hesitant to believe her. She hopes that she can have a relationship with her parents in the future.
Josie confessed that she loved her sister in the end: “Over all of this, I’ve learned something that I wished I had seen earlier. I don’t hate my sister. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now, I need to leave.”
This article Despising Her Disabled Sister For Ruining Her Life: Was She Wrong? was syndicated and produced by TPR Teaching. Names are changed for privacy reasons. Source.
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Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.