She Wants Her Deceased Stepsister’s College Fund, But Mom Is Hesitant

A grieving mother’s story of donating her late daughter’s college fund rather than giving it to her stepdaughter sparked 60,000 reactions and 3,000 comments on social media.

The original poster (OP) and her ex-husband had saved money for their daughter’s college education for years. OP, her ex-husband, and their daughter contributed to the fund, resulting in a total of $25,000.

Tragedy Struck The Family

Sadly, the daughter died in a car accident when she was 16 years old, and they had to decide what to do with the money.

At the time of the accident, OP had already remarried to a significantly older husband, who had a 30-year-old daughter. OP and her stepdaughter, who was only three years younger than her, did not get along, causing tension in the family.

OP and her ex-husband discussed what to do with the college fund, deciding to split it and donate it to charities they felt their daughter would be proud of, as they knew their daughter was “very passionate about the environment.”

“My husband says it was my daughter, and I can do what I feel is right to honor her,” OP wrote in her post.

The Stepdaughter Had High Demands

However, the stepdaughter argued for an even split, suggesting that donating $13,000 to a charity wouldn’t mean anything, and OP could “help someone she knows in real life” and give it to her to put towards a house.

Her father had since agreed with his daughter’s suggestion and was pushing for this plan change.

According to OP, the stepdaughter wasn’t experiencing financial difficulties since she was single and could afford a house. The husband had also helped his daughter pay off some debt before OP got married to him. She recognized that she “just wants some cushion.”

“My stepdaughter has brought this up multiple times; it wasn’t just a suggestion; she constantly brings it up,” OP stressed in her post.

OP took to social media to see if she should stick to her plans. She wants to know, is she an a****ole for doing this? She didn’t feel comfortable giving it all to the stepdaughter.

READ NEXT: Daughter’s Grandma Refuses to Acknowledge Her Because of Race, So Her Parents Cut Her Off Their Lives

Reactions From Netizens

OP’s case sparked much debate on social media about whether or not she should give the money to the stepdaughter.

One user received more than 31,700 “upvotes” for their response: “What a greedy young woman your stepdaughter is! That wouldn’t be honoring your daughter, as it has nothing to do with her. Stick to your guns.”

“Like daughter like father… Both of them are f—ing greedy,” another person responded, with more than 7,600 upvotes in agreement.

Why The Greed?

The commenters revealed their true thoughts. “She is not entitled to your daughter’s college fund. I’m appalled that I should even ask for it,” one person stated. “More so that her father has taken her side. I’m astounded that people like this actually exist.”

“Your stepdaughter and husband are being really ugly here,” another said. “Their disrespect for your choice in how to honor your daughter and obvious money-grubbing is making my stomach turn here.”

The overall consensus was that OP was “not the a***ole.” (NTA), and she was not obligated to give any of the money to the stepdaughter.

Things Quickly Turned Sour

In a turn of events, the husband said that OP “couldn’t do what she wanted” with the college fund. Following the heated dispute, the couple decided to end their marriage.

To ensure that her ex-husband could not access the money in a possible divorce case, OP removed her name from the account so that her ex-husband was named the sole owner.

To honor his daughter’s memory, they took a trip to her favorite town, visiting her favorite spot and spreading her ashes.

After the trip, she stayed with her sister, looking for a new place to live. They opted to use the college fund to start a scholarship or pay someone’s tuition fees instead of giving it directly to their stepdaughter.


This story, Donating My Daughter’s College Fund Instead of Giving it To My Stepdaughter. Was I Wrong? was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Reddit Source.

Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.

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7 months ago

100% honesty, this was one of those stories where I read the title and was appalled by the mother’s actions until I read the whole story. I thought the step-daughter was of similar age and also wanted to use the money for college, but this? no…. totally not the a-hole