Feminist Doesn’t Want Her Father To Walk Her Down The Aisle, So He Threatened Not To Pay For The Wedding. Was He Wrong?
A Simple Yet Significant Tradition
Although a daughter’s wedding should be a happy occasion for any parent, one father found himself at odds with his child over a time-honored tradition: walking the bride down the aisle.
His Daughter Was a Feminist
Unable to decide if it was wrong to go against his daughter’s feminist beliefs, this dad asked the Internet to weigh in on the family controversy. Should the man pay for his daughter’s wedding if she insists on walking herself down the aisle?
He Raised Her That Way
“I’m a 48-year-old man, and my 19-year-old daughter has always been an independent thinker,” the father wrote in an online forum. “I raised her to be independent and think for herself, which I’ve always appreciated.”
She Wanted To Do Things Differently
Nonetheless, his daughter’s independent thinking has lately sparked a family discussion. Since the 19-year-old was recently engaged, she and her family were in the early stages of wedding planning.
However, what should have been an exciting process was derailed when the bride-to-be decided that she did not want to be walked down the aisle by her father.
She Didn’t Belong To Anyone
When asked, the daughter’s main argument was that “Her mother and I don’t ‘own’ her, therefore we have no right to ‘give her away.’”
The Father Was Upset
“I feel hurt by this because we never treated her like an object or piece of property, rather, we’ve tried our best to provide her with a wonderful life,” the father explained.
Despite many attempts to talk it out, the daughter was unwilling to budge from her stance—which her father described as “extreme” in his view. As a result, he provided the bride with an ultimatum.
Why Should He Pay For The Wedding Then?
“I told her that if she feels that way, then I won’t be paying for her wedding,” the dad revealed. “I don’t want to come across as controlling or manipulative. It’s true, I don’t ‘own’ her, [but] I also don’t owe her a fully-funded wedding.”
Opinions Were Divided On Social Media
Although the father might have preferred a unanimous verdict from the public, the opinions in the comment section were unfortunately divided.
The top-voted comment firmly ruled in favor of the father’s ultimatum. “You heard her. She is independent,” the online user advised. “Independent people deal with their own bills.”
She Is Too Young To Get Married
Another commenter agreed that they would not pay for the wedding either but for an entirely different reason. Nineteen, in their mind, is too young to be married. “Maybe they really will be together forever, but if they truly believe that they can grow up together a little bit before making that big of a commitment.”
The Day Isn’t About You
Conversely, other users wondered about the father’s motivations. After all, a wedding is a celebration of the bride and groom, not the in-laws. Would it be so impossible to respect his daughter’s feelings and values on her special day?
Moreover, the dad faced some backlash in the comments when he revealed that he had already paid for the older sister’s wedding without any conditions or special requests.
The Father Replied To The Comments
In an amendment to his original post, the father was quick to respond to criticism and clear up his intentions: “So, this isn’t about making the wedding about me. … It’s about her attitude. She’s had every opportunity in life so far, and to exclude us from this day is a spit in the face.”
“Independent thinking does not mean rude or selfish thinking. Being an independent thinker does not give someone the license to disregard or disrespect the thoughts, feelings, or perspectives of others,” the father insisted.
They Eventually Compromised
Those who enjoy ‘happily ever afters’ will be pleased to learn that, after much reflection, the father and daughter came to a compromise. Rather than pay for the celebration, the dad offered the bride-to-be a monetary gift worth the same amount as what her older sister’s wedding cost. The daughter has also agreed to figure out a way to include her parents in the ceremony—without falling back on antiquated traditions.
The Father Concluded
“We disagree, but that doesn’t mean it’s a relationship-ending event,” the father concluded. “My daughter is laughing hilariously at all of you that are saying she will disinvite us from the wedding or cut us off from grandkids.”
For those who forecasted the worst outcome, the dad suggested that they learn how to deal with conflict: “People disagree—even strongly—it’s a natural part of life. We don’t end life-long relationships over it.”
Read More: The Worst Things Teachers Have Confiscated
Teachers have seen it all. So we asked them: what was the worst thing they had ever confiscated from a student?
Their answers would be enough to put you off the teaching career for life.
Did you know that up to 45% of all Americans have a side gig? Do you?
We found probably one of the most enjoyable, rewarding ways to earn money by teaching (chatting) with those who want to learn English online. Log in any time you want, 24/7, and get paid weekly for the hours you put in.
Read More: She Didn’t Want Her Son To Sleep At His Girlfriend’s Because “Something Felt Very Off”— And She Was Right
To a child, parents’ rules and restrictions may seem arbitrary and controlling. While the occasional rule might be strict, hindsight usually reveals that—more often than not—a parent’s intuition was right.
Read More: Transgender Man Wants To Use The Male Toilets But Feels Uncomfortable— Seeks Advice on Social Media
Do men care who’s in the restroom with them? The debate over gender-neutral bathrooms has usually centered around women’s restrooms. As the conversation continues, trans men have also begun to voice their concerns.
I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
I enjoy traveling, nature walks, and soaking up a new culture. Please share the posts if you find them helpful!
