Her Fiancé Called Off Their Engagement Believing He Was Just A Backup Choice, She Tries To Prove Otherwise

A woman shared a story on social media about her fiancé ending their engagement after hearing rumors. She is now attempting to clarify the situation.


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Miscommunication, poor assumptions, and toxic friendships often end in disaster, as one poor woman found out the hard way.

Growing up, “Mary” was close friends with a neighborhood kid named Matt. Mary and Matt kept in touch even after the former left for college. At her university, Mary often talked about her home life and her old friends.

She grew close to one girl, in particular, Sarah. Her roommate and best friend, Sarah, heard stories of Mary’s neighborhood and of Matt.

She Introduced Her Friends To One Another

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Mary introduced Sarah and Matt. Her two friends hit it off immediately and started dating. Mary was happy for them, but things were far from perfect.

“I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside,” Mary wrote.

By the time Mary graduated, Matt had “completely dropped [her] as a friend.” While she felt sad about it, she managed to maintain a close friendship with Sarah.

They Got Married

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Sarah and Matt’s relationship progressed. Mary was a bridesmaid in their wedding and provided tons of support.

The two women hung out frequently, but Mary never talked to Matt other than polite greetings. Sarah would sometimes try to set up double dates between the married couple and whoever Mary happened to be dating at the time. These double dates rarely went well.

Matt Was No Longer The Friend That She Remembered

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“I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me,” Mary shared in her post, “However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah, so for her sake, I ignored him.”

Mary Eventually Got Engaged


After a while, Mary got engaged to a man named Jack.

Mary and Jack didn’t plan an engagement party. Disappointed, Sarah organized a small get-together at her house to celebrate the newly engaged couple.

As things were winding down, Mary and Jack approached their married friends to thank them for the sweet gesture.

Matt Let The Mic Drop

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According to Mary, Matt was “pretty tipsy” by then. Out of nowhere, he grabbed Mary and hugged her. Matt told her he was “so glad that [she] was finally settling down and… now [she’ll] be over the crush [she] had on him.”

Mary was completely shocked. She denied the accusation. Matt just laughed and told Jack that Mary was “always chasing him” and that he had to work hard to keep her away.

What Was That All About?!

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Furious, Mary dragged her best friend into the room and asked her to fix the situation. “He’s drunk; ignore him,” Sarah dismissed, “You know I always trust you; I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.”

Mary’s fiancé had enough. He stormed out of the party. Mary ran after him and tried to defend herself. Jack told her he didn’t want to be anyone’s second choice. He left and stopped returning Mary’s calls.

She Tried to Talk to Sarah

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In the days that followed, Mary tried to do damage control. She talked to Sarah multiple times and asked her to clear things up with Jack. Sarah consistently brushed Mary off.

Mary had no clue why Sarah believed any of this. At no point during the many years of friendship did Sarah mention any suspicions.

Sarah Thought She Was Interested in Him From The Beginning

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After multiple demands for an explanation, Sarah finally told Mary what brought this on. Sarah said that when Mary first introduced her to Matt, Mary talked Matt up and “gushed about him.”

Sarah took that as evidence that Mary liked him. Mary told her friend, “I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him.”

Wasn’t it Obvious?

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Sarah pointed out how Mary was upset about Sarah and Matt’s relationship in the early months. Mary again clarified, “I wasn’t upset about their dating; I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him.”

She told her friend that she didn’t enjoy being the third wheel and getting ignored.

Sarah Wasn’t Willing to Help

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Mary pleaded with her best friend to talk to Jack. Sarah said she “didn’t want to lie,” indicating that she still believed Mary had a crush on her husband.

Mary vented, “This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but she won’t talk to my fiancé to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back, I was always doing stuff for her, and she used me but did little for me.”

Mary Tried to Fix Things With Her Fiancé

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Left with no other options, Mary tried to fix things herself. She was angry with Jack for believing the word of a “drunken idiot” over his own fiancé, but she still wanted him back.

She wrote him a letter explaining everything, sent him screenshots of her conversations with Sarah, and emphasized that she never pined after any guy. She loved Jack, and he was her only choice.

Jack Decided to End the Engagement

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Jack maintained a cold silence for several more days. When he finally agreed to speak to Mary, he shared his perspective. For Jack, there were two ways of interpreting the situation.

Either Sarah was telling the truth, in which case Jack was indeed Mary’s second choice, or Sarah was lying. Jack felt that if Sarah was lying to hurt Mary, that made Mary a bad judge of character—a quality he did not want in a life partner.

Either way, Jack found himself reaching the same conclusion: ending the engagement.

She Learned a Lesson

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Mary begged him not to end things. Jack said Mary needed to set better boundaries with people.

After mourning the relationship, Mary realized he had a point. She was a clingy friend and a doormat.

She was able to see how one-sided her relationship with Sarah truly was. She realized she’d let Jack dictate a lot of things too. Mary had adjusted her life and goals based on what Jack wanted. She gave him back the ring and all his gifts.

Sarah Tried to Take Advantage of Her

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Sarah and Mary didn’t speak for a while. Eventually, Sarah started calling again. Mary ignored most calls, but one morning, she answered.

She told Sarah about the breakup in the hopes that her old friend would be sympathetic.

Sarah was more interested in knowing if Mary would babysit while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. “She got pretty angry when I said no,” Mary told users. “I have blocked her now.”

Mary Lost Her Relationships But There Was Still Light at The End of the Tunnel

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Mary lost her fiancé and her best friend all in one go, but she is still thankful.

The comments on her post showed her that the best solution was to walk away from the mess. The user encouraged her. They considered Jack, Sarah, and Matt terrible people. 

“I hope she realizes she’s worth more than how these cruel a***oles have treated her,” one commenter wrote. 

Another agreed, saying: “As soon as he stormed out because she might have had a crush on someone else, I knew it was over. That kind of jealousy is toxic, and she deserves better from a partner. His loss, not hers.”

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This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Reddit Source.

I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.

I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!

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