He Asked His Wife To Work Again As Their Daughter Enters Daycare. Was He Wrong?

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With US childcare costs rising, couples make sacrifices like remote work or one partner becoming a full-time caregiver. A couple faces the dilemma of balancing financial and domestic responsibilities.

His Work Offers Childcare Benefits

When one husband discovered that his workplace offered childcare benefits, it seemed like the solution to all of his family’s problems.

However, the affordable childcare only prompted a new dilemma: How could he convince his wife to return to the workforce?

They Agreed That She Will Be A Stay-At-Home Mom

“My wife and I had our first child two years ago, a beautiful little girl,” the man shared in his post, uploaded to an online forum for moral dilemmas.

Initially, the couple agreed that the wife would quit her job and take on the role of stay-at-home mom since the man’s income was enough to provide for the entire household.

He Sees Her Overwhelmed With Childcare

However, a year into parenting, the husband recalled seeing his wife “overwhelmed” by raising their child. Although the wife reassured her husband that she was okay, the man still shopped around different paid childcare options.

He decided on a course of action after his boss informed him of their job’s childcare benefits.

Their Daughter Started Daycare

After filing the paperwork, getting accepted, and touring the facilities, the couple was delighted to have their daughter start at daycare four months later.

Since the daycare was located in his office building, the dad really appreciated how convenient the arrangement was for both parents.

She Has Nothing Left To Do

“Here is where the issue arrives: my wife is not doing anything,” the husband revealed in his post.

Since the couple divided domestic chores equally between them, the wife doesn’t have much else to do with their daughter at daycare.

He Asked Her The Question

“I understand that adjustments take time… The original agreement was for her to be a stay-at-home mom, [but] with our daughter in daycare—not to be rude—staying at home to be a mom is not happening.

I brought up the million-dollar question: ‘When are you going back to work?’”

She Tried To Change The Subject

Before becoming a mom, his wife had worked as a software engineer and allegedly enjoyed her profession. She was also “100% on board” with the childcare plan and rejected the possibility of returning to their previous arrangement.

Although the wife tried to change the subject when confronted, the husband asked again and added, “I told her that she has no excuse to not be working.”

She Was Given A Choice

According to the dad’s post, he was thankful their daughter was not home to witness the blowout fight that ensued.

The wife defended herself by arguing that a good husband provides the option to stay at home, while the dad reiterated that she needed to either watch their daughter or take on the majority of the housework.

“Your being home is not a free pass to do nothing,” he told her.

She Felt Envious Of Other Wives

The discussion escalated when the wife admitted to feeling envious of his coworker’s wives, who stay at home and do not work.

The husband countered that those coworkers also regularly cheat on their spouses. “Want me to start doing that?” he asked sarcastically.

He Was Faced With A Dilemma

Once the heat of the argument had passed, the husband began to reflect on their situation.

Should he keep encouraging his wife to go back to work? Or should he respect her wishes and let her stay at home?

Most Netizens Supported Him

In the comment section of his post, there was a wave of sympathy for the conflicted husband.

Most online users agreed that if the child was at daycare, then the wife could no longer expect to live as a stay-at-home mom. If she did not work, then commenters agreed she would have to dedicate her time to something else.

It’s Not the 1950s

“I am a woman and would expect my spouse to do AT LEAST 90% of the household chores and raising kids if I was only one working full-time,” declared an indignant user.

“She wants you to take on the 1950s role as the sole provider for the family but finds the role of 1950s housewife insulting. She can’t have her cake and eat it, too. She either does 80%+ of the household chores or she gets a job,” reads the top-voted comment.

Other Users Offer A Different Perspective

However, not every comment was in solidarity with the husband.

Some users reproached the man for the bitter words exchanged during the couple’s discussion, saying that it sounded like he intended to cheat.

He Could Have Handled Things Differently

“It was not me saying I would cheat, just me saying the life she is envying is not all sunshine and rainbows,” he defended himself in the comment section.

“The wives she sees are paying a price that she was unaware of, and I know she does not want to pay … I also agree [that] the things said did not have to be said and that it was not a proper way to handle the situation.”

What’s Next?

As a result of the argument, the husband ultimately suggested marriage counseling.

Although he admits he would prefer a double-income household, only a future update could tell whether therapy helped the pair reach a suitable compromise.