“Her And I” or “She And I” or “Her and Me”?

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Using pronouns can be confusing, even for native English speakers. There’s a debate over whether it’s more appropriate to say “her and I” or “she and I.” So, which should you use?

The answer is that “she and I” is the correct term. “Her and I” is incorrect. We can find the answer simply by thinking about the object and subject pronouns.

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What Is an Object Pronoun?

An object pronoun is a pronoun that receives the action in a sentence. For example, in the sentence, “Ellie gave it to her,” the pronoun “her” is the object of the sentence.

The object pronouns are me, you, him, her, it, us, and them.

Examples of Sentences With Object Pronouns

  • Mary gave the pencil to me
  • I watched you perform in the play last night
  • Shelley gave her jacket to him
  • The children were looking for the dog and found it in the backyard
  • The students listened to her as she told the story
  • The pilot made an announcement to them
  • The teacher told us to do our homework

What Is a Subject Pronoun?

A subject pronoun is a pronoun that performs the action in a sentence. For example, in the sentence “Ellie gave it to her,” the person called “Ellie” is the subject of the sentence.

The subject pronouns are I, you, he, she, it, we, and they.

Examples of Sentences With Subject Pronouns

  • I left the book on the table
  • You texted me a few minutes ago
  • He gave her a hug when she arrived
  • She opened the door and stepped inside
  • It ran away from us when we got too close
  • We found them playing in the park
  • They saw him running down the street

“She and I” or “Her and I”

“She” is a subject pronoun. “I” is also a subject pronoun. Therefore it makes sense grammatically to add them to a sentence together. For example, “she and I went to play in the park.”

Is It Correct Grammar To Say “Her and I”?

“Her” is an object pronoun. “I” is a subject pronoun. It wouldn’t make sense to say, “Her and I went to the park.” This is incorrect.

“Her and Me” or “Her and I”

“Her and Me” is correct. “Me” is an object pronoun. “Her” is also an object pronoun.

It is correct to say, “The children invited her and me to the party.” It would be incorrect to say, “The children invited her and I to the party.”

To put it simply, if we break up the sentence into its parts and say, “The children invited I to the party,” we know that it is incorrect. This is because “I” is a subject pronoun and “her” is an object pronoun.

Examples of Sentences With “She and I”

  • She and I went to the store.
  • We had a lot of fun, she and I.
  • She and I are going to get ice cream later.
  • Do you want to come with us? She and I are going downtown.
  • I think she and I make a great team.
  • We did it! She and I won the game.
  • She and I are going to the movies tonight. Do you want to come?
  • It’s so nice out! She and I are going for a walk.
  • I can’t believe we finally finished! She and I have been working on this project for weeks.
  • Thank you so much for your help! She and I really appreciate it.
  • I didn’t know that she and I were supposed to meet here.

Examples of Sentences With “Her and Me”

  • Lucy gave the book to her and me.
  • Can you see her and me?
  • The teacher is looking at her and me.
  • Do you want to come with her and me?
  • John shouted at her and me when we arrived late to class.
  • The criminals tortured her and me until, one day, I escaped.
  • The cashier gave the change to her and me.
  • They think highly of her and me.
  • We decided that it would be better for her and me to leave early.
  • The award was for her and me.

Don’t Get Confused!

Even if you don’t understand subject and object pronouns, there is a little trick that works every time!

Break down the sentences into parts to avoid confusion.

“Can you see her and me?” is always correct because we can say:

  • Can you see her?
  • Can you see me?

“She and I really appreciate it” is always correct because you can say:

  • I really appreciate it.
  • She really appreciates it.
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In Conclusion

I hope I have clarified the difference between “she and I” and “her and I.” Remember, “she and I” is correct, and “her and me” is also correct.

If you’re ever unsure, you can always try breaking up the sentence into its parts to see which pronoun should be used.

If you have any further questions about this topic, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below. Thanks for reading!

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Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.

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