Depression looks different from person to person. Some people may not be able to get out of bed and perform basic tasks. Others might go through their routines and obligations perfectly fine but feel completely numb inside.
However, it manifests that depression is a serious condition that requires support and understanding to overcome. Loved ones are often the first to notice behavior changes, as one wife shared in a two-part post.
They Are Having Another Baby
“My husband became a robot, and I don’t know how to help him,” the wife titled her post on social media. She and her husband have been married for six years and have two kids. She’s currently pregnant with the third, an unplanned but very much wanted pregnancy.
Her husband was great. She described him as “this goofy guy who smiled and told jokes all the time.”
A Notable Change Occurred
Recently, things have changed. “I haven’t seen the man smile in months,” she wrote. Her husband started going through life like a checklist of chores: go to work, clean the dishes, play with kids, chat with wife, sleep, and repeat.
He didn’t seem to enjoy any aspect of his life anymore. She told users it felt like “hanging out with the kids and me is a second job.”
Their sex life also became one-sided. Though the frequency of sex hadn’t changed, she was now the only person to initiate intimacy. Her husband performed regardless of his mood, seemingly with the sole purpose of making her happy.
“It feels like he isn’t there in the moment, like his mind is wandering the whole time we’re intimate, and that, to me, feels worse than getting rejected,” the wife shared.
His Wife is Worried
Although grateful for all her husband is doing—he makes their lives so much easier—she became worried about his mental health.
“It’s like he’s constantly on the clock,” she confessed, “I think he might be depressed.”
When she brought up her concerns, her husband said he was “doing fantastic.” She knew something was wrong, “that’s the line he uses at work when customers try to make small talk.”
Meanwhile, her husband stopped taking time for himself entirely. He no long took breaks to play games or watch television.
She Wanted Her Old Husband Back
On the outside, he was the perfect husband, doing everything he needed to do, but his wife didn’t want perfect—she wanted him.
“I miss my husband,” she told users, “The guy who complained and told jokes. Not this robotic shell that looks like him.”
Her first post got an outpouring of support and advice. Readers felt the care and love she had for her husband, and many urged her to share the post with him.
Accepting the advice, she sat him down and expressed her feelings; she also showed him the first post.
He Broke Down Crying
A few days later, the wife made a second post to update readers. She shared that upon reading her previous post, her husband started crying. “In all the years that I have known this man,” the wife wrote, “I had never seen a tear roll down his eye.” She had held him until he could compose himself, and finally, he shared his feelings.
Her husband told her the world was in a “s****y place” with the stress of COVID and global changes, and he worried about bringing a child into this chaos.
With the new pregnancy, he also felt he had to step up and take care of things because it was his responsibility. The pressure had gotten so bad he would occasionally throw up—he then showed his wife the pack of gum he carried for those moments.
He had kept all of this from her because he didn’t want to be a burden. Her husband thought that if he opened up, it would change how she saw him and make her stop loving him.
They Decided To Take a Much-Needed Break
This brought tears to her eyes. The wife reassured him that she would never stop loving him, and they began discussing ways to help him. He still enjoyed his job but wanted to take a vacation with her—a romantic getaway.
They planned to drop the kids off at Grandma’s house and take a trip together before the baby’s due date. Things have steadily improved since that first conversation.
“Right now, he’s playing with the kids, and it doesn’t feel like he’s doing one of his chores. He actually seems to be enjoying himself,” she shared in her update, “For the first time in months, I don’t see the robot; I see my husband.”
Social Media Users Were Supportive
In the comments, men expressed gratitude towards the wife for shedding light on male depression. “I cried reading this update because I know exactly how he feels,” one user wrote.
“As a 47-year-old man, I felt this… in my soul,” another commented.
One woman shared how she benefitted from the post, “My husband and I are having our first child soon, and although I’m a little worried about how things might change, I always just assumed that he’d talk to me if he felt trapped. I’m going to show my husband your post and encourage him to talk to me if this starts to happen to him.”
Depression can affect anyone at any time, regardless of gender. Posts like this remind people that asking for help is always okay.
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I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
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