Life skills like cooking and cleaning help prepare children for future independence, but what about those children who will inherit enough money to survive a lifetime without lifting a finger?
A Wealthy Family, But It Wasn’t Always The Case
A social media user wanted to ensure that her very wealthy family didn’t result in spoiled kids, only to find she may have failed miserably.
The original poster (OP) did not come from wealth. “I lived in foster care when times were okay and lived where I could when times were really bad,” she shared.
She relied on services the local youth center provided and “worked her butt off” to give herself a somewhat decent life. Even after meeting her husband, OP continued working until having her first child.
Her Husband Lived a Very Different Life
OP’s husband grew up incredibly wealthy. “Both his parents came from money. My MIL (mother-in-law) has never worked a day in her life,” OP wrote.
Despite this privilege, OP’s husband valued hard work and recognized the disadvantages and struggles of others. He was raised primarily by the family staff, as his mother had no interest in children, and he spent most of his time at his favorite nanny’s house.
“He… always really valued what [his nanny] gave him in the sea of crazy that is his family.”
They Wanted to Teach Their Kids Not To Take Things For Granted
When it came to raising their own children, OP and her husband wanted to avoid raising spoiled, bratty kids at all costs.
For OP, it was a matter of reminding them how lucky they had it.
For her husband, it was about preventing more of what he’d seen in his own family.
“I’m very appreciative of everything my husband has done for us and have always made sure to let my kids know that we are very lucky and very spoiled,” OP told readers.
She Made a Conscious Effort To Be Giving
She wanted her kids to care for others and pay people properly for services. OP would make the children pack up clothes or things they’ve outgrown and donate them.
She assumed she was doing a good job of teaching them empathy and perspective… But she was wrong.
She Caught Her Daughter Behaving Disrespectfully
Several days ago, OP came home to find her eldest daughter, thirteen-year-old Bea, screaming at the nanny. Bea shouted, “You’re a maid; that’s what we pay you for, to clean up after our family! Do your job!”
OP was livid. “I’ve never heard my children speak like this to anybody, and I saw red,” she seethed.
Feeling like she’d failed as a mother, OP forced herself to remain calm. She sent Bea to her room and took away her electronics, letting the teenager know that they’d speak when her father came home.
The Nanny Was Very Upset
Once Bea was gone, OP pulled the nanny aside. “[She] was in tears,” Bea wrote, “so I sat with her and got her side of the story and helped her calm down.”
What was the nanny’s grave offense? What awful thing had she done to set Bea off?
“All she did was ask our daughter to put her dirty clothes in her hamper so she could start laundry.”
She Was on The Nanny’s Side
OP loves the family nanny. “This woman has helped me through [post-partum] with all of my kids; she’s literally been a rock for me and our family for thirteen years,” OP shared.
She was devastated at the treatment of someone so cherished and important to her. OP gave the nanny several paid days off to decompress and let her go home.
They Decided Bea’s Punishment
When OP’s husband got home, they discussed the situation and came up with a battle plan.
Not only would the parents keep Bea’s electronics, but Bea would be forced to spend her weekends volunteering at the youth center for underprivileged kids—a center similar to those her mother once depended on.
Bea must also write a full apology letter to their nanny, and—the cherry on top—she must take care of herself and her chores.
They Were Adamant About Turning Things Around
OP and her husband sat down with Bea and explained the punishment. They made sure to clarify that Bea wasn’t in charge of anything.
“I also told her that she doesn’t pay anybody for anything, she has no money of her own… and that having people in our home to help us is a privilege, not a right.”
She Would Get a Bit of a Shock
Until Bea understands what her parents laid out, the punishment will remain. She is not allowed to accept help from the family staff; all her laundry, room cleaning, and puppy chores are entirely her responsibility.
They Thought They Had Made a Good Choice
“None of this is up for debate,” OP explained, “her father and I will talk in four weeks to see if we think she understands our point then.”
Both parents felt confident in their choices. They considered the punishment both appropriate and reasonable—until Bea went running to her grandmother, that is.
Was It Too Harsh?
OP’s in-laws roared against the punishment. They declared that the parents were “completely out of order and ruining [their] daughter.” Bea stopped talking to OP altogether.
Although OP’s own family and her husband agree with their stance, a trickle of doubt entered OP’s mind.
Had she gone too far? Was her punishment extreme?
Social Media Users Shared Their Thoughts
OP received an outpouring of support for her choice. Users commended her for de-escalating the situation and handling it so well.
“Actually, that is perfect parenting if you ask me… I think your daughter can definitely learn from this. She overstepped in a tremendously cruel way, and now she gets to deal with the consequences,” a user applauded.
Social Media Users Shared Their Thoughts
“Your daughter has confused your husband’s wealth with her own, and it’s made her ugly,” another user wrote, “Taking care of her own basic needs is not only a great way to remind her humility, but it’s [also] something she should be able to handle… anyway.”
The Comments Helped Her Make a Decision
OP has decided to maintain the punishment and has also scheduled therapy sessions for Bea and the family. She has also extended an invitation to the nanny to join the family therapy sessions.
“The punishments… will remain [in place] until Bea shows some understanding of why she [was] wrong and how hurtful she was to her [nanny].”
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This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.
I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
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