I Cannot Stand My Child And I Hate Being A Parent, One Dad Admits

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare: raising a child they can’t love. Postpartum depression and the general added stressors that come with a new child can sometimes turn into resentment. Most parents eventually learn to cope with those hurdles and bond with their children anyway.

But what happens when it’s not postpartum? What happens when one, two, three years go by, and you still can’t stand being a parent?

One father opened up on a social media forum to express his frustration—and disdain—for all things child-related.

Love Doesn’t Always Come Natural

“I cannot stand my child, and I hate being a parent,” the original poster (OP) titled his jarring post on social media.

OP and his partner come from supportive families. They fell in love years ago and lived an idyllic life. Homeowners, financially stable, and in a healthy relationship, they woke up every day at peace. They had freedom and looked to the days ahead full of optimism.

That all changed four years ago when their life took a drastic and permanent turn.

OP and his partner never wanted to be parents. The idea of raising a child didn’t appeal to them, but when his partner got pregnant, they decided to keep the baby.

Now, it seems he regrets that choice. “Almost since the day my child was born, I knew this wasn’t for me.”

According to OP, each day with his daughter is miserable. Despite his best efforts, he can’t make himself enjoy being a dad. “I’ve tried, I have truly tried to enjoy it,” he told readers.

The Challenges Of Parenthood

On paper, his parenting doesn’t sound too bad. OP claims his daughter has a “good life” and that she receives everything she needs and wants within reason. “I’m strict with very few rules, just listen and be honest. She doesn’t listen. She is honest.”

OP’s list of grievances includes what many readers felt were typical childhood behaviors. His daughter says “no” to basic requests—a common trait among young children.

Apparently, OP’s daughter “is [also] horrible to both [OP and his partner] for no reason. Genuinely horrible.”

He complains that having a child has introduced unprecedented stress into his life. “I have never felt real, heart[rending] stress until she was born, but it is now relentless.” 

“I Hate How I Feel About Life”

“Some days I cannot stand to be around her; her voice will stress me out, the constant moaning, whining, needing, crying, and sass.”

He describes her more like an enemy than a daughter. “If it was my choice, I’d never see her again,” he admits, though he won’t abandon her as she “isn’t doing this on purpose; she doesn’t know the pain she causes.”

While OP has since had a vasectomy, there’s still the issue of his existing four-year-old daughter.

The grandparents help out, and school gives the couple a long break, but it’s still not enough. “I’d do anything to have my old life back, the one where we had freedom, [were] happy and enjoyed waking up each morning and always looking forward to the next day.”

The future looks bleak.

“I don’t think I will ever enjoy being a parent, maybe when she grows into a nicer individual and starts to understand life more,” OP speculates. “But I hate this. I absolutely hate how I feel about life.”

READ NEXT: Daughter’s Grandma Refuses to Acknowledge Her Because of Race, So Her Parents Cut Her Off Their Lives

Reader’s Were Not On OP’s Side

Many readers felt OP’s resentment plays a role in his daughter’s behavior. “Have you ever thought your child is reacting to you and her mother’s feelings for her? Kids sense things through body language, and she might have even overheard conversations,” one social media user commented.

“My baby sister is 5, and she acts a lot like how this kid is described towards my stepmom and dad,” an older sister shared. “I babysit her often, and she tells me that her mommy and daddy don’t like her. It’s really sad, but she knows exactly how they feel about her, and she reacts to it.”

“Communication is more body language than spoken language. She knows you don’t want her,” more users agreed. “You think your kid can’t tell she’s not wanted by either parent?”

Even parents who experienced similar sentiments couldn’t empathize with OP’s post due to its sheer cruelty. “I’m a parent of a 3-year-old. I love him, and I have gone through major depression over the past three years… I mourn my old life a lot. But the wording of your post, depression or not, is so heartbreaking and honestly mean and something you’d say about an enemy, not your child.”

All readers seem to agree on one point: OP needs therapy ASAP. He and his partner need to process their emotions with a professional, though that too, appears unlikely. “I don’t need professional help,” OP concludes his post. Hopefully, he will change his mind.

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This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.

Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.

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