Instead of responding with the usual—” You’ve got the wrong number,”— learn what comebacks other online users employ to ensure they’re never bothered again.
As a freshman in high school, this online user thought switching to another language would be enough to shake off a persistent telemarketer. “¡Hola!” they answered the phone, thinking their Spanish 101 skills would be enough to stump the person on the line.
“I thought it would be hilarious…” they recalled. “That is until the man switched to flawless Spanish. I’ve never pressed the button to hang up so fast in my life.”
Another commenter on the forum recalled when, back in the glory days of the landline, a woman called their house to ask: “Hi, Johnny, is Sandra home?”
Since neither Johnny nor Sandra lived there, the user assumed it was the wrong number but still decided to wreak havoc. They answered, “Yeah, but she’s taking a s— right now, can I take a message?”
Flustered, the woman offered to call back later, to which the online user helpfully replied, “Smells like it’s gonna be a while,” and hung up.
“To talk to a customer, press 1,” suggested another Internet user, who picked up that line from “somewhere, I don’t know where.”
“I like to try to sell them insurance. It is really funny when you get a diehard salesman that tries to one-up you…” shared an online user on a forum. The trick is to feed them selling points like “reverse life insurance that pays, so long as you don’t die.” Meanwhile, the telemarketer is struggling to remain on-script.
Another commenter helpfully pointed out that reverse life insurance does exist, in a way—“It’s called an annuity.”
Sometimes, a sense of humor is indispensable when dealing with misdialed calls: “My mom used to answer the phone—wrong number or otherwise—and say, ‘Planters, which nut would you like to speak to?’”
The online user considered it necessary to clarify that their family name was not Planters, “for the record.”
“I always answer telemarketing calls as an agent of [the] Federal Communications Commission,” wrote another commenter on the forum. “I’ve never heard folks hang up so fast.”
For those wishing to recreate the scheme, they suggested the following opener: “This is [First Name] with the Federal Communications Commission. Please state your full name and supervisor’s full name.” However, they warned that they don’t have suggestions for a follow-up since the farce never goes further than that.
From the makers of the “Turn that down, I can’t see” meme comes the suggestion, “Could you speak up? I’m not wearing pants.”
“It’s too dark in here, I can’t hear you,” interjected another commenter.
“D*ck’s Hot Dogs. You like hot dogs, you like D*ck’s!” is a surefire greeting to make the other person hang up.
Whenever this user’s boyfriend receives a call from a scammer (informing him of an alleged virus on his computer), his standard response is: “Oh no! Do you think I have a virus because of all of the gay p—n that I watch? I know I should stop, but I just love it so much!”
“Please don’t hurt them. I told you I just need another week; I’ve done all I can.”
Whatever the other person replies, the online user recommended to follow that up with: “No, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
This online user remembered the time an unsuspecting telemarketer called his uncle to ask, “Hello, sir! Do you like to save money?”
Without skipping a beat, the uncle answered: “I sure do! I like saving money so much I restricted my diet to soda crackers to cut back on toilet tissue. When I take a s— now, all I need’s a broom and a dustpan… Hello?”
The easiest and most effective suggestion by any user on the forum: “I just put them on hold and wait to see how long before they hang up.”
Read More: The Worst Things Teachers Have Confiscated
Teachers have seen it all. So we asked them: what was the worst thing they had ever confiscated from a student?
Their answers would be enough to put you off the teaching career for life.
Read More: Dad Let His Son Take “Toy” To Show and Tell, Not Knowing What It Really Was
When Mom’s away, Dad and son will play.
Read More: Teaching or Chatting?
Did you know that up to 45% of all Americans have a side gig? Do you?
We found probably one of the most enjoyable, rewarding ways to earn money by teaching (chatting) with those who want to learn English online. Log in any time you want, 24/7, and get paid weekly for the hours you put in.
Read More: She Didn’t Want Her Son To Sleep At His Girlfriend’s Because “Something Felt Very Off”— And She Was Right
To a child, parents’ rules and restrictions may seem arbitrary and controlling. While the occasional rule might be strict, hindsight usually reveals that—more often than not—a parent’s intuition was right.
Read More: Transgender Man Wants To Use The Male Toilets But Feels Uncomfortable— Seeks Advice on Social Media
Do men care who’s in the restroom with them? The debate over gender-neutral bathrooms has usually centered around women’s restrooms. As the conversation continues, trans men have also begun to voice their concerns.
This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.
I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
I enjoy traveling, nature walks, and soaking up a new culture. Please share the posts if you find them helpful!