Mother at Her Wits’ End with Daughter: Is She to Blame?

Raising children can be difficult, and one woman has reached her wit’s end. Turning to an online forum, one mother has shared her grievances with others.

A Mother’s Dilemma

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“My daughter is 9, and she is lazy,” the user, MrsRoxkwell announces. “She quits every club, hobby, activity…One lesson, and now she says it’s too hard, and she doesn’t want to go.”

As a result of her daughter’s demands, the mother explains, “I’ve just lost my rag with her. “

Is She Being Unreasonable?

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She goes on to say, “I’ve asked her how she thinks she’s going to survive in life if she can’t be ars** to put any effort into anything.”

The question remains. Is the mother being unreasonable? Or is the daughter exhibiting negative behaviors?

Netizens React Differently

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One responder offered up her own experience. “My child was told from the first lesson you sign up for 10 lessons.” 

The user went on to explain that the ten lessons had to be honored before the child decided whether or not they wanted to quit. 

You’re Being An Unreasonable Adult

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Another reply was less amiable. “You are the adult in this relationship,” they said. “Stop facilitating her to give up.”

With more sympathy, one commenter said, “I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I think you’re teaching her an important lesson.”

While many people went on to claim the mother was enabling the behavior, one user suggested that it sounded like a lack of confidence. 

Maybe She Doesn’t Teach Her to Focus

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“I used to be like that,” they confessed, “I’m actually annoyed now as an adult that my Mum never made me stick at anything.”

 “I must be quite mean,” one commenter said. “I make my child go to anything I’ve paid for, even if they don’t particularly like it”, and says, “Mine usually likes it when they get there, though. The problem is, they’d prefer to be at home lazing in front of the TV.”

Is Her Daughter Afraid Of Disappointment?

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“Does she worry about not being good at things?” One comment prodded.

“Are you sure it’s not fear of failure?” Said another. 

“Do you ever do ‘tough’ things as a family?” one response questioned. “Do you ever go on walks at the weekends or anything like that? She needs encouragement to continue when things are hard…Do they see you or your DH [Dear Husband] going to sports or activities?” 

A Case Of Perfectionism?

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“Perfectionism!” One person said, with others agreeing straight away.

 “Couldn’t agree more!” Someone else said. 

“She expects to succeed from the get-go, and if she doesn’t, she loses hope and gives up because it’s too painful to accept defeat.” 

Some Users Offer New Perspectives

ADHD Symptoms

Some people insist that a nine-year-old child should be able to take more responsibility, like saving up for a class or sticking out a semester of classes before moving on to something new. 

Many others continually suggested neurodivergence or ADHD, referencing their own experiences or those of their children.

It Has Caused More Frustration

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“She’s not neurodivergent and doesn’t have dyspraxia,” the original poster continually attested. “She’s just a nightmare at the minute.”

Ultimately, the original poster became frustrated with the number of comments declaring her daughter was spoilt. 

Many comments suggested that she was a bad mum for enabling the behavior and not considering medical issues as the cause. 

She Realized She Needed A Break

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“I’ve been trying to support her into trying new things and experiences to build her confidence, but she is just so stubborn,” the mum said helplessly before signing off at the end.

“This was a mistake posting here,” she said finally. “I was just at the end of my rag and needed to vent.”

Despite the outburst, the overall response from 1419 votes was a 76 percent indication that the mother was not being unreasonable, after all.

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This article was produced by TPR Teaching. Source.

Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.

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