She Went Braless to The Gym But The Men Have a Problem With It: One Woman Documents Her Experience

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One woman went viral on social media for her story about how a gym member approached her and told her she had to wear a bra in the gym.

Dress Code For The Gym?

Should gym dress codes insist that female members wear bras? Is it inappropriate to work out without one?

One woman faced confrontation over this issue. She posted on social media about an experience at her local gym where a man approached her, insisting she should wear a bra.

Going Braless in Day-to-Day Life

During the COVID-19 lockdown, the original poster (OP) worked from home. She spent the bulk of that time “basically never wearing a bra and got used to it.”

When lockdown ended and she returned to the gym, she started working out braless. No one seemed to have an issue with this. OP stated that her “boobs are nonexistent anyways.”

While her shirt size is an Xtra-Small, she wore oversized shirts to the gym—typically in size Large.

She Caught The Attention of Another Gym Member

One day in the middle of a set of squats, a male gym member approached her. He tapped her on the shoulder and told her that her “n*pples are poking through [her] shirt.”

OP was immediately irritated. “Why is this guy staring at my n*pples in the first place and then stopping me mid-set to inform me?”

The Man Thought He Was Helping

Despite her annoyance, she attempted to finish her set. The man proceeded to grab the squat bar and re-racked it for her.

His reasoning? He said that she looked like she was having trouble getting through the workout and that he had approached specifically to help her, only noticing her n*pples after the fact.

I Don’t Need Your Help

This statement turned OP’s irritation into real anger. “I’m really pissed off at this point,” she vented in her post.

She told him she didn’t need his help and demanded to know why he was looking at her chest.

The man told her he was going to “spot her” (assist in the exercise), but he noticed her n*pples and thought it’d be inappropriate.

Wear a Bra

She pointed out that the safety bar was set, so even if she failed to complete the exercise, there was no danger, and “he wasn’t needed.”

He insisted gym culture involved looking out for one another and told her that moving forward, she “should probably wear a bra so other people wouldn’t get uncomfortable and that it may help [her] stay more balanced in [her] squats.”

Why Was She Being Picked On?

OP was the only girl in the weights section at that moment. She claimed that other guys who were squatting and failing sets “never have to worry about this s—.”

She witnessed men fail multiple sets in a row without anyone approaching them. Unlike those men, however, “I have a very slight pause,” she complained, “and everyone thinks I need rescuing.”

She Lashed Out

Annoyed and made uncomfortable by the stranger, OP retorted: “You have bigger boobs and n*pples than I do. Maybe YOU should wear a bra so people won’t get uncomfortable and you won’t fail your squats.”

The man became defensive and insisted he was only trying to help. He called OP a b—-. His response made her wonder if she had overreacted.

She Started To Wear a Bra Again

Over the course of the next few weeks, OP started wearing bras again, in and out of the gym. She claimed that the incident had nothing to do with her decision. She was struggling with depression, and “dressing for success” was a small way to get herself into a better headspace.

The man and OP shared a common workout schedule, so she “unfortunately” had to see him again. While she sometimes wanted to “grab his [squat]bar out of fake concern while he was squatting,” she resisted the urge and ignored him.

The Man Approached Again

The dynamic shifted one day while she was deadlifting. She happened to be recording herself checking her form when the same man came up to her. He said, “You know sumo [squatting] is cheating, right?”

OP was used to comments like these from men who were “half joking.” While the comment annoyed her, she ignored him. He repeated his comment a little louder. Again OP ignored him.

Failing To Make Conversation

The man then noticed that OP was recording herself and asked if she had an Instagram account and if he could follow her on the platform. For the third time, she ignored him.

After these attempts to engage her failed, the man said something along the lines of “See, your form is so much better now that you’re wearing a bra.”

OP states she then lost it again.” She screamed at the man calling him a “disgusting, harassing piece of s—.”

Management Got Involved

At this point, a gym employee approached the pair and asked if something was wrong. OP informed the employee that the man had been sexually harassing her for two weeks and asked to speak to a manager.

Management Got Involved

The male gym member denied everything. He told staff he “was just trying to help” and that OP was being sensitive.

Management listened to both sides of the story. When giving her side, OP shared the video she’d recorded that day.

In the video, the man’s bra comment could be heard clearly. As a result, the manager gave the man a 30-day ban.

The manager also told OP that if he ever bothered her again to let them know, and his ban would become permanent.

She Constantly Deals With This Kind of Behavior

OP shared that she felt vindicated but was frustrated that only one man suffered consequences for what she felt was common behavior.

“It’s nice to see someone have repercussions for their actions, but it’s also exhausting dealing with this kind of thing constantly at the gym, even if it isn’t quite as overt. But I guess I’ll have to keep calm and lift on.”

Social Media Reacted To The Story

Commenters on the post found the man’s behavior absurd. Many mocked the man’s approach with comments like: “Excuse me, miss, I just noticed your boobs from over there, and I thought I should come over here and interrupt you so that I can talk about your boobs…”

Others laughed at the man’s reasoning behind the bra statement: “Uhm, a bra will help you stay ‘balanced’? WTF?”

Social Media Reacted To The Story

Many saw the man’s approach as a terrible attempt at flirting, calling it “bad gym pick up artistry 101” and “awkward ‘nice guy’ flirting.”

They also pointed out that calling OP a b—- was out of line and somewhat ironic, given his escalation of the situation two weeks later.

Social Media Reacted To The Story

Others shared OP’s frustrations, sharing comments like “I hated going to the gym because I AM TRYING TO WORK OUT. Leave me the hell alone.”

One user’s sarcastic response read: “‘I really hope that random guy over there will come to give me unsolicited advice’ said no woman at the gym ever.”

A man even shared how his wife—a professional physical therapist and state championship weightlifter—often dealt with “gym bros” trying (incorrectly) to explain the proper technique to her.