Refusing to Pay For Her Sister’s Husband’s Surgery With Her Inheritance Money: Was She Wrong?

A recent commenter on Reddit wanted to find out if she was wrong for refusing to pay for her sister’s husband’s surgery with her inheritance money.

She Received Inheritance Money

thinking about money

An 18-year-old female, Jadienne*, who recently lost her father, is facing a dilemma regarding her inheritance money. She plans on using the money to pay for college tuition and pursue a career in medicine.

Chronic Illness

talking about problems

Jadienne’s sister is married to a husband who has a chronic illness. He did not permit Jadienne to live with them, so she resides with her aunt. Jadienne’s sister has used her inheritance money to purchase new cars and renovate her home.

No Longer Close

girls on phones

Jadienne’s relationship with her sister became distant after she married her chronically ill husband, who disrespected her dad by making negative comments about his illness and causing a scene at his funeral.

His Health Condition Deteriorated

sick man

Recently, Jadienne’s sister had frequently been visiting and talking about her brother-in-law’s health condition. He had been hospitalized multiple times because of his heart problems and needed to undergo surgery.

Pay For His Surgery

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During their conversations, she would mention the inheritance money several times, but Jadienne usually changed the topic. However, she then directly asked Jadienne if she could assist in paying for her husband’s surgery and promised to repay her within a year.

Jadienne felt uncomfortable with giving her money from the inheritance, as she was unsure if it would ever be paid back in time for college applications. She believed that her sister couldn’t pay back such a large amount of money and that she would be risking her future.

She Refused to Help

girls talking

On refusing to help, her sister broke down and called her “heartless” and “cruel.” She asked if she would be happy to see her as a widow and her nephew without a father. Health takes priority over education, which is most important right now.

The aunt suggested that other members of the family pay, but they had already cut off support to the sister and her husband.

The Guilt Tripping Began

thinking while on phone

The sister continued to blame and guilt-trip her for her husband’s poor health. Despite her aunt not intervening, she suggested that she prepare for permanent damage in their relationship if she doesn’t help out now.

She Was Saying No to a Healthy, Happy Family

happy family

Jadienne’s sister had been sending messages and pictures of the family. The images depict a contented family with a healthy father and husband. It made her very emotional and made her feel like she was being selfish by refusing to be a good aunt and sister. It was a reminder of what “she is saying no to.”

Help Her Sister or Pay For Her College Tuition?


Jadienne sought advice from friends and was warned she may never get the money back if she did decide to help. They said they should sell the cars and all the luxurious stuff they bought with the inheritance money.

This was a stressful situation for Jadienne as she must make the difficult decision between helping out her sister and preserving her future with college tuition. She must weigh both options before making a final decision.

Reactions From Social Media

burnout adult

Many online users sympathized with Jadienne and her difficult decision. It was a moral dilemma and reminded others to think of the consequences before making their final decision.

One person with 51,300 ‘upvotes’ commented. “You’re friend is correct. You’ll never get the money back because sis isn’t willing to give up her luxurious lifestyle. She chose how to spend her inheritance, didn’t save for a rainy day, and isn’t entitled to yours because of her poor financial planning.”

“I’m not sure whether they still have anything of value because I remember my aunt talking about my sister selling her car in May,” Jadienne responded.

They Chose To Spend The Money Their Way


“Your sister chose to spend money she got less than a year ago on expensive things instead of planning for the future as you did. Easy come, easy go, as they say,” another person commented. “Do NOT give them a penny of your money. They have options they don’t want to take, and that’s not on you. You’re not getting that money back if you lend it. You’ll become a fine doctor someday; I’m rooting for you!

Your Relationship Will Be Damaged

mending a broken heart

“Will refusing to give her the money damage your relationship with her? Probably,” one person with 8,200 upvotes admitted. “But do you really want to give up your future to preserve the relationship you have with her now? Because it sounds like a terrible one. And don’t think giving her this money will improve the relationship at all.”

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What Do You Think?

girls fighting

What do you think—should Jadienne help her sister with the surgery or preserve her future with college tuition? It’s a difficult decision and one that should be carefully considered before making an emotional call.

*Names are changed for privacy reasons. 

This post called Refusing to Pay For Her Sister’s Husband’s Surgery With Her Inheritance Money was syndicated and produced by TPR Teaching. Reddit Source.

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