She Pretended to Identify as a Different Gender So She Could Use The Male Toilets And Skip The Line, But Now She Feels Guilty For Doing It. Was She Wrong?
Waiting For The Restroom
Most women are intimately familiar with this dreaded scenario: nature is calling urgently, but the line to use the women’s restroom is over a mile long.
An All-Day Festival
According to the young woman’s online post, the incident took place at an all-day festival. The 31-year-old attended the event with a group of friends, which included a non-binary person (who was assigned male at birth).
Recap on The Meaning “Non-Binary”
‘Non-binary’ is a term used to describe people whose gender identity does not fall into either category of the traditional gender binary, i.e. male or female. Instead, they might identify with some characteristics of both genders or sometimes fluctuate between them. Some non-binary people do not even identify with any gender at all.
Let’s Go To The Men’s Instead
Before they left the event, the young woman and her non-binary friend decided to use the restroom. However, when the pair discovered that there was a ten-minute wait to use the ladies’ room, the non-binary friend helpfully suggested that she come with them to the men’s toilets instead. As per usual, there was no line whatsoever.
Almost No One to Be Seen
“I went with my friend to the men’s room, which, for the record, was nearly empty,” the young woman shared in her post. “No one seemed to even notice me walking in, so I’m sure I wasn’t inconveniencing any men or making them uncomfortable.”
The Other Girls Grew Impatient
Not everyone was happy with the young woman’s actions, which she soon discovered. As the two friends were washing their hands in the men’s room, they could hear a pair of women outside protesting to the security guard.
“Girls keep going into the men’s bathroom to skip the line; we just saw a bunch of them walk out,” they complained, angered that they were still waiting to use the women’s restroom.
The Security Guard Stopped Her
“A minute later, as my friend and I were leaving the bathroom, the same security guard saw me and loudly said, ‘Ma’am! Ma’am! You do know this is the men’s room, right?’ in a really condescending and snarky tone of voice,” the young woman revealed.
His Demeanor Was Unpleasant
Even though the young woman acknowledged in her post that she usually would have just apologized and let it go, this time, she felt the situation demanded a response—mainly “because of [the guard’s] attitude about it and because I was with my non-binary friend and I know this kind of thing bothers them.”
Did You Just Assume My Gender?
Angered by the guard’s question, the young woman replied, “Well, what makes you think I’m a ma’am?”
Flustered, the security guard was unable to say anything more than “Um… Well… Uh, yeah, I guess,” and shrugged at the awkwardness, letting the young woman and her friend walk away.
They All Got Enjoyment From The Story
“My friend thought this exchange was hilarious, and when we got back to the group they told everyone what had happened and made it sound like I had stood up to this security guard’s transphobia.”
On the car ride home, the friend group kept celebrating the young woman’s actions and told her that her comeback was “really cool.” None of them judged her negatively or criticized her in the slightest.
Was She In The Wrong?
Still, in retrospect, the young woman began to doubt herself: “I’ve started feeling a little bad and wondering if I’m maybe a [bad person] for, in a sense, ‘pretending to be trans’ to get one over on somebody. It kind of feels like an LGBT-equivalent of stolen valor. Am I just overthinking this?”
Social Media Users Didn’t Have a Problem With It
Online users, particularly women sympathetic to her initial dilemma, were quick to reassure the young woman in the comment section: “Women have been utilizing men’s restrooms in this type of atmosphere for decades. Anyone who complains about it is the a——, but not you.”
Another commenter applauded the young woman’s resourcefulness. “Plus, she is not making the women’s restroom line longer by standing in it. In a way, she is helping out,” they wrote.
Potentially an Emergency Situation
Some users pointed out that there are individuals with legitimate health reasons who cannot wait to use the restroom for extended periods. “I know it’s not the case in this situation, but still. I would rather someone use the ‘wrong’ bathroom than have an otherwise avoidable and potentially embarrassing situation occur.”
Gendered Toilets Are Stupid?
“Here’s the thing. Making toilets gendered is stupid. Making toilets gendered and then not providing enough of them … is monumentally stupid,” concluded one online user. “The Karens are bad people. Transphobes are bad people. Event planners who don’t include enough women’s toilets if they insist on making the toilets gendered are bad people. But you are not.”
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This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.
I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
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