A woman received more than 47,600 reactions and over 2,000 comments on social media for her story about asking her parents to pay back her college tuition fees if they wanted to have a relationship with her.
The original poster (OP) was raised in an environment with strict gender roles, where her father was to provide, and her mother was to stay home with the children.
As the only daughter in a family of three brothers, her parents never valued her education or encouraged anything besides domestic skills.
OP’s brother’s college tuition was fully covered by her parents, while she wasn’t even allowed to apply. She decided to do so in secret and managed to get accepted with a partial scholarship.
She didn’t tell her parents about college until one week before the move. With few possessions other than those provided by her friends, OP studied engineering and worked hard to support herself while taking on debt.
OP and her parents “barely spoke” for years. After getting married and expecting her first child, her parents asked to meet up and offered apologies for any pain they caused.
However, OP wasn’t ready to forgive them so quickly. They refused to elaborate when she asked them what they were sorry for. In response, she asked for her 100K college tuition to be paid back – just as it was for her brothers – in order to prove their apology.
Her mother burst into tears, and her father accused her of not being serious, so she left the meeting. Her brothers have since called and accused her of acting immaturely. Now OP wants to know if she was wrong.
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Reactions from Social Media
People on social media commented that OP’s response was very reasonable and appropriate. They suggested that if one’s parents had truly changed, they would be eager to repay her tuition without hesitation.
One person from a similar family background could relate to OP’s issues and said her answer was “perfect” and “fair.” Unfortunately, the parents have failed in this case: “If they had fixed their appalling bigotry issues, they would be falling all over themselves, begging you to take the money,” they said. “Since they clearly have not fixed their bigotry, you don’t want them around your child.”
Many also noted that the apology seemed insincere as the parents only wanted to reconnect for the sake of seeing their grandchild.
“That’s a generic ‘sorry you’re upset’ non-apology. They are just around now because they want to influence the baby. The 100k ask is fair if they have the means to pay it.” one person stated.
“Exactly, they aren’t sorry for how they treated OP; they just want to have access to their grandkid,” another added.
The commenters highlighted that her brothers had been given a massive advantage in life that she had not received.
“Being singled out like that because you are a woman is gross, and it’s terribly unfair that your brothers got a free ride and you didn’t ask for that one fact. Good on you, though, for making your own way in spite of them.” one person said.
The Advice
The commenters advised OP to only accept an apology from her parents with the repayment of her college tuition if they truly wanted a relationship with her. They also told her to reprimand her brothers for their interference.
“Don’t allow them back into your life without a sincere apology on their end and the money for your education. This will almost certainly never happen, though. Also, tell your brothers to butt off. They got a huge advantage in life that you didn’t get,” one person stated.
The commenters applauded OP. “I’m proud of you, by the way. Despite your upbringing, you persevered. Keep staying strong and standing your ground.”
TPR Teaching produced and syndicated the article: She Told Her Parents To Pay Back Her College Tuition if They Wanted a Relationship. Reddit Source.
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It totally galls me the way these entitled youth are these days. The way they think that it is their right to have their parents pay their way through college. The parents are only responsible for getting them through high school, anything beyond that is on the youth shoulders not the parents. My daughter wanted to go to college, she did it with Veterans scholarships, loans and now she has just completed her Masters Degree and she did it on her own. It is time these entitled brats started paying for their own college degrees, or move out of their parents homes and get a job. Time to grow up.
You clearly didn’t read the article. RME