Weddings are a hotbed for family drama. The guest list is particularly tricky. Couples often have to balance out budget, family expectations, and their own desires.
One father of the bride is holding an essential part of the ceremony hostage unless his daughter expands the guest list.
The father in question has five children. His twenty-seven-year-old daughter, Casey, is getting married in the winter. Her husband-to-be, Max, comes from a conservative family with very “traditional” family values.
They Want a “Traditional” Wedding
Max’s parents and relatives are traveling from abroad, so they aren’t paying for more than their own flights, but they expect to see those traditional values extended to every aspect of the wedding—including the guest list.
The Not-So-Traditional Family
This is where Casey was faced with a tough decision. Two of her older brothers, Alex and Tom, are gay. They have husbands and adopted children. Both men have been nothing but supportive of their little sister. They each have a loving, happy relationship with her, and as part of the immediate family, everyone assumed both siblings would receive an invitation.
Waiting on The Wedding Invitation
“Last week, while Casey was away, my children Alex and Tom came to visit with their families, and we were talking about wedding invitations,” Casey’s father wrote. “I was surprised to hear that they haven’t received their wedding invitations, so I just thought that Casey [hadn’t] sent them out yet for everyone.”
Where Are They?
When the father offered this comfort, his two other daughters pointed out that they had received their invitations—with their kids and partners invited. Since Alex and Tom live in the same neighborhood, the father’s next assumption was perhaps that the postman in their area made a mistake.
Casey’s father decided to do a little digging anyway. He called around and found out from his own sister that Casey had also invited that side of the family, and they’d received their invitations ages ago. At this point, the father “immediately saw red”.
He Called Casey
He called Casey and demanded an explanation.
It was what he suspected. Casey’s fiancé and his family didn’t “feel comfortable with couples that are not traditional”. She added that “[homosexuality] goes against [her in-law’s] culture”. Since both her brothers were married to men, Casey made the decision to exclude them as a courtesy to her future in-laws and husband.
How Could You Exclude Your Own Family Like That
Her father wasn’t having it. “I have told her if that’s the case, I will not be walking her down the [aisle] and [will] pull out from paying for her wedding, as she cannot exclude her family like this when they did nothing wrong. …If her future in-laws opinion is so important to her, they can pay for the wedding.”
Social Media Users Responded to The Story
While Casey’s mother understood her daughter’s choices, she ultimately agrees with the decision. Many social media users also supported the father’s decision. “Casey can be bigoted on her own dime,” one user wrote. “I would never put my money into an event that discriminated against two of my kids like this. I also think it’s pretty scummy that she didn’t even have the guts to tell Alex and Tom they were being excluded.”
They Will Need to Get to Know Them Eventually
They considered Casey’s choice problematic for many reasons. They felt Casey should have stood up for her family and that not doing so sets a bad precedent. “It wouldn’t just be the wedding,” another commenter pointed out. “If the in-laws are this ‘uncomfortable,’ then Alex and Tom would be excluded from every family event Casey hosts. Holidays, if she wants to host a holiday. All birthday parties, if she has kids.”
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As a bride, juggling the wants and wishes of relatives is an unfortunate part of the wedding planning process. However, there is a huge difference between fighting over flower arrangements and color palettes versus explicit, unabashed bigotry.
Casey’s decision may ultimately lead to cutting off her brothers entirely. If this was her choice, that is her right, but to do so because her in-laws are demanding it of her is a terrible position to be in.
Hopefully, Casey stands up to her in-laws and salvage her relationship with her brothers while she still can.
This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.
I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
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