A viral social media post that amassed over 45,900 likes and 6,900 comments features people sharing the most bizarre and humorous things they have said while under anesthesia.
Feeling a Little Loopy?
Anyone who has ever received general anesthesia can corroborate that the after-effects make a person feel loopy, to say the least. When emerging from sedation, we often say or do things that our rational side would never condone. From doctors and patients alike, here are some of the funniest and strangest things people have said after sedation.
1. Show my baby to my brother-in-law; He deserves to see her first
One medical professional recalled a C-section patient who, after receiving spinal anesthesia and ketamine (a hallucinogenic), told her doctors: “Show my baby to my brother-in-law; he deserves to see her first.”
The medical professional reflected: “I sometimes wonder what happened to her marriage after that.”
2. I don’t want to be in Iowa!
This patient woke up from general anesthesia, saw the hospital table in front of them had a ‘Made in Iowa’ sticker, and swiftly threw a tantrum:
“How did I get to Iowa? I don’t want to be in Iowa!”
The mother had to explain the table was just from Iowa.”
3. A case of mistaken identity
When an Italian American patient was waking up from anesthesia, he mistook his Asian nurse for his daughter and kept expressing how glad he was that she had arrived.
The nurses were confused until they went into the waiting room and saw the only person there: the patient’s adopted Korean daughter. Everyone started laughing hysterically at the misunderstanding.
4. I’m preparing to salsa dance
“I’m preparing to salsa dance”
A threat that requires little explanation.
5. If my balls are hanging out, that makes this a ball gown
For this young man, the morphine he received after undergoing a bowel resection was not enough to deal with the discomfort of sitting in a hospital room with his divorced parents.
“My sister […] tells me my junk is hanging out of my hospital gown, and I say, ‘If my balls are hanging out, that makes this a ball gown.’ Really helped with the tension.”
6. The repentant flirt
One medical professional remembered a patient who, after waking up from ketamine, “started cat-calling me, telling me how attractive I was.”
When the professional went to retrieve some ice chips for her thirst, the patient allegedly said, “I hate to see you leave, but I love to see you go.”
But as soon as their back was turned, the patient began crying and apologizing for scaring them off.
7. I think they took my ****
This doctor recollected a patient who, after receiving surgery to remove a benign tumor from his face, woke up by shouting and requesting his brother. “Check to see if I still have my ****… I think they took my ****!” he demanded and then proceeded to flash the entire room—presumably so everybody could verify for themselves.
8. An unusual way out of the closet
Some wisdom teeth removals are not for the faint of heart. After waking from the anesthesia, this young woman was asked questions to ascertain her levels of brain functioning.
The nurse questioned, “Who are you?”
The patient recalled, “I responded with, ‘I’m a lesbian.’ Her parents were in the room. They didn’t know at the time. That was how she came out.
9. A Tinder match gone wrong
Another medical professional recalled the case of an 18-year-old young woman who ‘recognized’ the male anesthesiologist attending her procedure as a match from Tinder.
While falling asleep, she reprimanded the man for standing her up on several dates. “As we put [the patient] back in bed, she mumbled that she is not even mad, just generally disappointed in men and that she still thinks he’s pretty.”
10. An uncomfortable colonoscopy
One online user shared the story of their coworker, who was grounded from ages 15 to 18 after undergoing a colonoscopy.
As the girl was a minor at the time, her mother accompanied her in the room through the procedure.
Allegedly, when the technician began to insert the scope, the sedated teenager murmured, “No, not again, [boyfriend’s name], it hurt last time.”
11. The cunning escape artist
“I apparently can’t handle my anesthesia,” explained a man who was driven home from the hospital after his surgery.
When his wife stopped to drop off his prescriptions at CVS, she left her husband locked in the running car.
Allegedly, she then found him in the frozen dairy section of the pharmacy with a tub of German chocolate ice cream in hand. “I told her I needed it ‘because my people made it.’”
The car was still running with the passenger door left open.
12. The heartbroken Harry Potter fan
This patient recalled waking up sobbing after surgery because “I was convinced that I was married to Cedric Diggory and he had just been killed by Voldemort. I’m cringing so hard just thinking about it. I was inconsolable.”
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This article, The Strangest and Funniest Things People Have Said Under Anaesthesia, was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.
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