Life’s unexpected shifts, like physical changes, may strain relationships and can test unconditional love or possibly foster frustration. One husband faces this dilemma as he starts to resent her body.
They Were Once At A Healthy Weight
“Me and wife weren’t athletes or anything when we met,” the husband explained.
“We were both average and at a healthy weight. We both gained some weight over time. I eventually started trying to take care of myself. I got back to my high school weight and am fit now… My wife went the opposite way and just kept gaining and gaining weight.”
Is He Just Being Harsh?
At first glance, it feels a little harsh. If you married someone, you’re supposed to love them no matter what they look like, right?
Well, things might be a bit more nuanced than they appeared. The husband shared that his wife’s weight gain is not just an aesthetic issue—it’s affecting their entire life.
She Can’t Stand For Long
“She’s to the point where she can’t manage to be out and about throughout the day for long. She’s maybe good to be up and about for half an hour before she can’t continue.”
She Also struggles To Walk
The couple has a vacation approaching. He knew that his wife would not be able to walk and explore all day. They ended up having to reserve a mobility scooter for her.
He Starts Feeling Embarrassed
The husband emphasized that this change wasn’t because of any health issues but simply due to her weight.
“I’ve honestly started to feel embarrassed when we’re together in public.”
There’s No Intimacy Left
Another aspect of their lives that has been negatively impacted by his wife’s weight gain is their sex life.
Her ability to perform has drastically declined.
The husband no longer feels any connection or intimacy. Sex has become a chore. “It feels dull and clinical almost. Her appearance is a turn-off.”
She Doesn’t Seem To Care
The final nail in the coffin is purely aesthetics. His wife puts “absolutely no effort into herself”.
No matter what he tries, she doesn’t seem to want to eat better or even try to look her best. It has made the whole situation feel more than a little hopeless.
It’s Just An Unhappy Marriage
“Overall, I’m just not happy. This isn’t the life I wanted,” the husband concluded.
He wants a wife who is healthy and thriving, not one who requires mobility aids.
He wants her to live long enough to see her grandkids, which might not happen at the rate she’s going. “I don’t even want her [to] be skinny. I want her to be able to function in a normal life.”
Social Media Users Air Concern
Social media users were concerned over the wife’s health.
“She needs to make some serious lifestyle changes before she has a heart attack or falls and breaks something because her body can’t withstand that much weight even in a shortfall,” one person commented.
A Little Compassion Is What She Needs
A few users suggested he approach the conversation with his wife from a place of concern and care.
“Make sure you add in a compassion component and frame part of your concern as being worried for her health. You want to live a long and happy life with her, and you’re concerned about the effects on her health.”
Weight Gain Is Not Lack Of Self-Care
Weight gain is a complex issue. There are so many different reasons why someone might experience changes in their body.
Genetics, mental health, and stress can all contribute to weight gain. It is important to note that weight gain doesn’t necessarily equate to poor health or lack of self-care.
Unhealthy Has Different Faces
There are plenty of people who are overweight or obese but still lead healthy lives.
Likewise, there are individuals who appear to be thin or fit but struggle with disordered eating or other health issues.
While the husband has some valid concerns, resenting his wife is not the answer.
Getting help and providing honest, open support is the only way things will work out in the end.
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This article was produced and syndicated by TPR Teaching. Source.
I'm an Irish tutor and founder of TPR Teaching. I started teaching in 2016 and have since taught in the UK, Spain, and online.
I love learning new things about the English language and how to teach it better. I'm always trying to improve my knowledge, so I can better meet the needs of others!
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