Merely three weeks after the birth of her third child through a c-section, an exasperated mother is turning to an online forum, posing the question: “Am I Being Unreasonable?“
A user by the name of HuckleberryBlackcurrant has elicited the attention of hundreds with a post on Mumsnet.
“I had a C-section 3 weeks ago,” she writes. “We have 2 other kids, 4 & 6. Husband is heading off on a golf trip tomorrow, will be gone for 2 days.”
She’s Upset By His Request
She goes on to explain that her husband is on paternity leave while she recovers, and their family adjusts to the change of one more child.
And while she claims he has been keeping up with laundry and dishes, as well as looking after the two older children, this user feels a sense of outrage at his request.
She Turns To The Internet For Advice
“Am I right in being upset?” she asks the forum. “It’s an annual thing with friends, but I missed my annual trip with my friends this year due to having just given birth.”
It’s an age-old argument— the dispersion of post-birth tasks. This one mother is sick of it.
She Thinks He’s Being Selfish
“I just feel like leaving your newly postpartum wife after she has just had a major surgery to play golf is a bit selfish,” she writes.
The majority of the 500 comments left on the post agreed.
“I’d be furious,” one commenter seethed. “Sick of men applauded for doing the bare minimum.”
Another commenter said, “It’s not ‘a bit selfish,’ it’s horrendously selfish.”
It Looks Like A Chaos At Home
Though the husband in question has made arrangements for the older two children, a necessity as the poster cannot lift the younger of the two, it is clear from the original post that support has been lacking.
“The bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in a month,” the poster says. “The carpet hasn’t been vacuumed in weeks, kids toys and dirty clothes everywhere…it’s stressing me out trying to play catchup.”
He Goes To Pack His Golf Things Anyway
“I had to grit my teeth watching him pack his golf things tonight,” she goes on to say.
“I’m so exhausted and sore, and he’s swanning off to play golf.”
She Still Got Up To Clean The Clutter
Defeated, HuckleberryBlackcurrant admitted in a response that she had gotten annoyed about crumbs on the carpet and eventually pulled the vacuum out to do it herself.
“Then he got up,” she says, “and did one room, as he knows I’m not supposed to be doing that yet.”
He’s Not A Good Man
Some responses stick to calling the husband expletives, but others offer cold judgment.
“He is not a good man,” one person said. “He couldn’t possibly care deeply for you and do this.”
He’s Too Lazy And Insensitive
“Paternity leave isn’t for golfing trips,” one commenter replied.
“He should be ashamed of himself, letting his wife, who is still recovering from surgery, struggle with the vacuum because he’s too lazy to do it.”
They’re Also Expecting Visitors
The plot intensifies as the original poster reveals that she and her husband expect family to stay with them the following week.
“I’m excited for them to come,” she admits, “but if he stayed home from golf, we would have more time to get the house clean.”
She Just Wants A Clean Home
She goes on to say that because her husband is on paternity leave, he thinks he will have plenty of time to do it after his golf trip.
“I don’t want to sit and look at it for 2 days,” the poster writes.
Post-surgery with a new baby and two other children, it seems a reasonable request to want a tidy home.
The Internet Agreed: She’s Not Being Unreasonable
While the comments extend beyond sympathy to outright aggravation, the consensus is firm. The original poster is not being unreasonable.
Is A Golf Trip Really Necessary?
Some comments suggest hiring a cleaning company on her husband’s dollar, while others simply encourage clearer communication between husband and wife. “There’s always next year,” she says of the golfing trip. “Why can’t he forgo it this time?”
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This article was produced by TPR Teaching. Source: Mumsnet.
Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.